Obituary for Common Sense – London Times

Obituary for Common Sense

An Obituary printed in the London Times…. Absolutely Brilliant!!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place: 

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death:

-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers:

– I Know My Rights
– I Want It Now
– Someone Else Is To Blame
– I’m A Victim
– Pay me for Doing Nothing.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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  • De castro  On November 4, 2015 at 2:12 am

    Nice one Cyril…..just hope the political cl ASSES read it in comprehension.
    Doubt if they can understand its simplicity.😈

    Entertaining read
    Thanks brother.

  • Clyde Duncan  On November 4, 2015 at 10:43 am

    This Obituary was written by Lori Borgman – published March 1998

    My Memory is Shot, All I Retain Now is Water

  • Albert  On November 4, 2015 at 11:14 am

    Wonderful article. Is there a connection between common sense and ignorance. In an interview Professor Hawkins of Oxford Univ. said Dr. Carson, a republican candidate for presidential nomination,exhibited the highest level of ignorance, as a neurosurgeon, in not believing in evolution. THe world fame biologist said further, evolution is the bedrock of medicine how could a doctor not believe it.
    Is this ignorance at the highest level.

  • Clyde Duncan  On November 4, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    In my other thread, I mentioned that Doctor Carson is an idiot-savant – a brilliant surgeon; but I don’t want to hear anything he got to say. The response was that some cannot wait for him to be the next President of the USA.

    I responded that the last idiot, W. Bush, was appointed by the courts; after the courts was stacked by daddy Bush with their class of idiots.

    Republicans don’t like black leaders, so Carson has a snowballs chance in hell of defeating Trump. And Clinton will mop the floor with Trump.

  • De castro  On November 4, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    Simple Simon says
    Bernie is being used to guarantee Clinton s victory.
    Two horses pulling same carriage.
    Trump the protagonist opposition……rich folks stooge.

    Let’s get real the Broom Rider will be next Commander in Chief of mighty mouse🐀🗽

    Woman power ! Viva 🐩

    Entertaing USA 😂

  • Albert  On November 5, 2015 at 11:35 am

    “Let’s get real the Broom Rider will be next Commander in Chief of mighty mouse🐀🗽”
    Bai you better pray that is true. The world would be a safer place with her.
    If you get Trump or Carson then you really need to go to church and pray. If we go down then the UK and Canada will go too because they chain to us.

    • De castro  On November 8, 2015 at 3:52 am

      If I pray to God 😇 and him nah listen….mi pray to diablo😈
      Worship neither…😇😈 ….religion opium of church ⛪

      Lord kamtan (king of jungle ah hoo ah 🗽)

  • Gigi  On November 5, 2015 at 12:34 pm

    @ Clyde, republicans have elected a considerable number of black leaders over the years going way back to the 1800s. Black people love to bash republicans because it’s what democrats tell them to do to keep them shackled permanently. Democrats deliberately discriminate and instigate against blacks to create and promote an agenda of racial victimization and strife to distract from the real issues. Obama is the worst by far! Of course republicans are only too happy to go along because both parties have the same agenda. Common sense and his deceased family members are representative of libertarians and independents while his surviving stepbrothers are solidly democrats and liberals. Go figure…

    This from Booker T Washington, an influential black republican who was ostracized by blacks and the democrat establishment because he did not play their games, or should I say their con games.

    ““There is another class of coloured people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs – partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs.”

    “I am afraid that there is a certain class of race problem solvers who don’t want the patient to get well, because as long as the disease holds out they have not only an easy means of making a living, but also an easy medium through which to make themselves prominent before the public.

    If the patient gets well, an entire industry of victimhood will get cancer and die. This would be the best thing for the black community. Until blacks throw off the shroud of victimhood, they will be at the mercy of “doctors” who treat a cancer that does not exist but that they are paying for.”

  • De castro  On November 5, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    Gigi for president !🐩
    Kamtan as “adviser”….. How about that !

    American voters will be duped again and again.
    They stupidly vote to choose ……democrat … Or …democrat….woman or man…..
    It’s not left or right like UK s party politricks.😬

    Labour or Tories.
    Left or right.
    Spend and borrow……labour
    Cut and save….Tory

    Simple simon

  • Clyde Duncan  On November 5, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    This is yesterday’s news about the Republican-Tea Party [04 Nov 2015] —

    Very brief diary, but it will give you a chuckle. Amusing GOP campaign flub of the day – this one from the pundits’ new “strong gainer” Marco Rubio.

    He was asked at a NH campaign event, a Q&A Forum at St Anselm’s College, which non-political public figure would he like to have a beer with.

    His answer?


    This is funny on two obvious levels: Malala is a practicing Muslim; as such she will not drink alcohol. And of course she is a teenager.

    It’s also funny on a third: the sense that Rubio has no real clue who Malala is. It’s like she was given to him as a focus-group-tested answer for him to file away in his smooth talkin’ mental Rolodex. “Say ‘Malala’ when you have to name a hero or something like that; the young people think she rocks and you need to connect with the young people. So, ‘Malala’.”

    Plus a fourth level: He apparently doesn’t know that she is a teen, thus doesn’t know that his answer would come across as, well, just a tad creepy.

  • Albert  On November 5, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    US politicians, in fact Americans generally, are badly uninformed when it comes to global issues. Maybe they clap when Rubio said Malala. With the conservatives of today ignorance is irrelevant. Look at the stupid things Carson and Trump say, yet they are ahead in the polls.

  • Albert  On November 6, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Somone else on TV commented. If Rubio or the audience did not know who is Malala its a wash out. No harm done to Rubio…..ignorance continue.

  • Clyde Duncan  On November 6, 2015 at 11:56 am

    I just read this one today about officers in the Israel military:

    There are four categories of officers: (1) the intelligent and diligent, (2) the intelligent and lazy, (3) the stupid and lazy, (4) the stupid and diligent.

    • De castro  On November 8, 2015 at 3:56 am

      Nice one… sure the “Gestapo” trained them.🎓

  • Clyde Duncan  On November 8, 2015 at 2:17 am

    Doctor Ben Carson, [Donald Trump] and the entire Republican primary process has been rendered a travelling medicine show, and he’s just one wagon in the caravan. –Esquire Magazine

    – Ben Carson Snake Oil Salesman Perfect Practice for Republican Campaign

  • De castro  On November 8, 2015 at 3:41 am

    Absolutely hilarious laughter…..only in USA.😀
    Americans must be the most uninformed illinformed misinformed
    “STUPID” on the planet. (except for social media subscribers….youths)

    BIG is UGLY
    small is ,BEAUTIFUL.

    In my travels when I order coffee in Spanish it is CAFE SOL AMERICANO.
    AMERICANO determines the size.
    That says it all.😈🗽

    God bless America land of free and brave !🗽

    Long live the queen 👑

    Sir kamtan lord of Cherin by appointment to HRH QE2 UKPLC

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